Oddly Emo

I realise i regret my past and i cant let go of it nor forget it . I wish i did things differently . I wish i didnt ruin the chance i had with people. I wish well i did not meet come people which ruined everything . How can i forget something i still dwell in . How can i forget something that still seems to be a part of me. How can i make it up to u people? How can i fix back the wrongs i have done and get back what i treasured so much . Would it make my future today a better place or would it end me up somewhere else? So many people go . Oh forget about the past . The future holds you life .
But if the future holds my life if i did somethign different in my past would my future be better? Would i end up with the right person? The right job? The person issue has haunted me over and over whether i did the right thing or not and why do i regret it NOW? The job issue just scares me to think off. Day after day people ask me what job i want to do in my future . Well technically i usually answer 'somethign tod o with my hands , water,makes money,good family,sports car' all of which seem to be a lot to ask for but it is VERY possible . i am torn between two parts of my future which id so lvoe it to be one . EASY LIFE-WAHT I LOVE . It seems both dont go well which each other . Ofcourse an easy life would mean i can do what i love AND i TOTALLY agree. But i cant help to think that when i get into UNI maybe id just not wan to study without conciously knowing cause its not really something i always wanted to do . But yet my mind tells me IT is the right choice and IT IS THE RIGHT CHOICE but yet my mind wanders everyday whether id be happier on the otherside of the fence . These two questions constantly ring in my mind .. i know my mind knows the answer but my concious seems to think otherwise ..